Awakenings

A kind of coma...is the best way I can describe my state of body and mind these two weeks following the official (or at least, ornothological) wrap of shooting our film.

I've had a generalized feeling of being completely emptied out that's actually allowed me to almost float through this recommended break from filmmaking without (very much) nagging guilt about what I should be doing next.

Today, however, it's time to snap out of that blissful ignorance, for the next phase has officially begun: Editing.

Even while we were shooting, Jean-François Bergeron - editor extraordinaire - was assembling the scenes. And this afternoon, for the first time ever, I will be able to sit down and look at the film, put together, from A to Z according to the script. No art, though. Just the bare, unflinching facts.

From all accounts, this part is hard on us director types. Because this is the moment we are faced, not with the "aspirational" version of the film we've been carrying around in our heads and hearts this whole time, but with what really "is". With what is our new reality. This, from now on, is all there is. Every frame of the film we've ACTUALLY made is all there - in its most raw, gangly and un-finessed state. Warts, wonders and all.

I'm secretly expecting there to be way more wonders than warts, but we'll see!

And then the real work begins after that.

I know I've been M.I.A. during the really exciting part - the shoot - and that I'm now back in the blogosphere just in time for one of the more tedious spectator sports to begin - the editing - , but I fully intend to use this next phase to work backwards - to get all nostalgic on your ass and write a bit of a reflective account on what shooting my first (and I'm currently using that term loosely) feature film was like.

Oh, and I'll be sure to throw in the occasional real-time account of any notable events as they happen - like my upcoming trip to Nashville to meet the one and only Dolly Parton!

Stay tuned...

Re-entry

WRAPPED. In the rain. Or was it tears? Such an incredible journey. So much to tell... First things first though, thanks to ALL our cast, crew and colleagues who gave everything they had here in the Peg and in Montreal to help realize such an ambitious venture.

Mission accomplished!

Now, back on earth, I'm looking up at the stars and feeling blessed. Not to mention, completely exhausted.

Back to the blog next week to start to tell the tales (with a little perspective and rest to make it coherent).

New Deal

Just overcoming a major handicap - had no internet in my Winnipeg digs until just now. So, hi all! Sorry I'm late. Am right in the eye of the hurricane here in the Peg (wrapped shooting in Montreal Saturday night, had some sausages expertly grilled by Claudine The Sizzler Sauvé with the crew and then hopped on a plane Sunday night in flip-flops to arrive in the prairies expecting snow).

Since then, we've been on a marathon two-day tech survey - ranging across the province to show - and in some cases see for the first time - the locations we'll be shooting at here in Manitoba. No rest for the wicked as they say. Under the expert guidance of Jack our driver and Manchester Mike our locations manager, we criss-crossed the southern half of this province and I really feel like I've only begun to scratch the surface of all the rich vistas and period-perfect locations Winnipeg and environs have to offer.

Today, am racing to see and approve the final props, decor, casting and costumes we need in order to start shooting on Sunday. Still have changes to make to the script (to better fit locations, time, budget and credibility). And try to unpack somewhere in there!

It's all going incredibly fast and I wish I could put a camera in my forehead and just share all the moments with you as they unfold as I am in a race for time before we start shooting again, but I'll do my level best to drop as many anecdotes along the way as I can.

Beyond that though, we now have a fabulous writer/photographer embedded with us. Sue Chappel has already started posting on our Facebook Fan Page. Check her out - she'll keep you really plugged in as we go!

Snapshot of a Typical Morning on the Shoot...

Permanent jet lag.

Cappuccino.

Kisses.

CCM (costume, coiffeur, maquillage)

Set.

Blocking.

Crisis of confidence.

Creative euphoria.

Cappuccino.

Touch-Ups.

Stage fright.

State of grace.

"Action".

Week One

The irony here is, now that the really exciting bit - the actual film making - is happening, I have no time or energy to talk about it! But I'll try...

We have put in five hard, exciting, scary, thrilling, fun, moving and ultimately REWARDING days already on this shoot. I have been surrounded, supported and impressed by my cast and crew on every level. There have been only a couple shots we weren't able to get and we went one hour over on Friday due to the capricious bands of rain that decided to hold off until the second we were very ready to shoot our only exterior here in Montreal.

All in all, a really good first week on a first, and by all accounts, ambitious feature.

We've got a great set photographer, Sebastien and soon a very engaged filmmaker in his own right, Rémy will be shooting the "making of", so hopefully I'll be able to share some of their images with you.

Until then, though, I'll just say this:

I've never had a child of my own, but from what I've heard, this experience is very akin to that of being a new mother. You're perpetually sleep-deprived, you can't even remember what it's like to drink a coffee when it's still hot, let alone tepid. And shower? what shower? Your roots are showing, your toenails are growing and you ultimately don't care (or don't have the energy to). Because the thing you gestated and brought into the world needs your every cell and every second of your attention to survive right now.

I'm well aware, however that most new moms don't have the good fortune of being surrounded by a crew of thirty or so skilled professionals all assembled to ensure that that baby not only survives, but grows and thrives.

Now I know how Angelina feels!

So a huge thank you and good night to each and every one of my nannies! I couldn't do this without you!

Fade Up:

On the day before...

... the big show begins.

In the wee hours between tonight and tomorrow morning, a whole huge, gangly, good-willed machine made of people and costumes and make-up and muscle and lights and film and gray matter and caffeine will shudder to life and will proceed to run full-time at breakneck speed from now until June 1 - all to make this crazy dream of mine a celluloid reality.

And as I try to take a "day off" today before running away to join my circus, I find myself in some weird place between Kansas and Oz, sitting here in my bathrobe (the same one in which the idea for the film was conceived lo, these five years ago), drinking my coffee (different one than the original) and just trying to grasp what is actually happening...

I AM MAKING A FEATURE FILM.

Or at least I am poised on the very pin-thin precipice of beginning to shoot what I trust will eventually turn into a feature film! It's all so surreal and all so very, gut-wrenchingly real at the same time that I'm a study in simultaneous states of stoned and stimulated.

And alliteration.

The writer's dead. Long live the writer.

But seriously, it's now time for the director of this show to take over. And tomorrow, I know the director will be looking to find her footing. Even though this is not everyone's first time making a film, it is most definitely everyone's first time making THIS film, so I figure we'll all be finding our way, figuring it out together.

And even though we haven't had near the time we all would have liked to get us here, here we are all the same.

And I sense we are ready.

It's time...

Knock, Knock...

I know I've been a little scarce these days... It's not because I have nothing to say - it's because there never seems to be enough time to say it!

I started this month of pre-production by saying that I would be dismounting from my regular weekly posts in favour of a more "lightning round" style of blogging... i.e. little blurts here and there.

Last time I "blurted", it was to let you know that Julia was in town for fittings and hanging outs and some script work. In the blink of an eye, she's back. For good this time! Because in five short days, we will be make-upped, costumed, decorated, crewed, lit and shooting our first scene on location.

Like my sound guy, Pierre Bertrand said, we're in the sling shot now - and the film is just about to let go!

I don't know how to begin to express the crazy range of emotions I'm experiencing as the first day of principal photography on my first feature film looms larger and larger on the horizon. As I picture us all being catapulted into the cosmos.

From wanting to shout from the rooftops to wanting to curl into a little ball might start to sum it up though I think.

It's a crazy, scary, thrilling, paralyzing, moving time. As Fellini famously said, "You start out thinking you're going to direct your movie, then you realize, your movie is directing you."

Having the strength to pull it all together is one thing, but knowing when it's okay to let it go is another...

...who's there?